Small Things.

It’s the Small Things, Midlifers.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s Big Things, too. But it’s the Small Things that comprise the fabric of the most intimate relationships that blanket our lives.

Like how he brings me coffee every.single.morning.

This is definitely a season - because 23 years of marriage equals 8,395 cups of coffee served and he loves me, but not that much.

But the season before coffee included making the bed - the way I like it made - every morning.

And the season before that included gassing up my truck for me because, like a good Midlifer, I’ve had years of running on empty.

The season before the bed-making and truck-fueling included hanging a dry towel over the shower for me each morning.

And the seasons before that I remember as only a blur because growing my career and family and church. But he took the kids to school everyday no matter where in the world I was with work.

And the newlywed season before kids when he was in seminary and we collectively made $17 an hour less taxes (do not recommend), he made me a peanut butter sandwich for lunch everyday.

Do I remember a bag lunch and morning errands and household chores as romantic across the years of my marriage? NO, absolutely not.

Does he make me ragey with his words or lack thereof and his keen ability to forget literally anything? One hundred thousand percent YES.

Do the coffee and gas and towel seasons weigh as much as continually not knowing, for example, where in our kitchen something as giant as the Instapot lives?

I say yes.

Because it’s the small things - the one million tiny habits of loving - that blanket the daily living of this Midlife, at least as much as him losing the lock for his gym locker at almost fifty.

Love well, Midlifers.

This is my pre-Valentine message to those of you who will be busy engaged in living this Midlife on a random Tuesday next week when I hear a whole day is reserved for buying each other teddy bears and saying tender things.

If you have one, love your beloved well, Midlifer. And may each of us receive with grace the love we are shown daily through all the Small Things from our most dear relationships, my friends

Because I am fully convinced that the Small Things that make us smile over time - not just one time - ultimately write our love stories.